


Late Night Sorrows

by Apoch



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Depression, Fluff, I promise, Tooth Rotting Fluff, Vague Mentions of Suicide, but it gets better, dark themes, like extremely vague, literally just fluff, this fic gets dark quick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22252003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apoch/pseuds/Apoch
Summary: You have a mentally rough night and Pearl talks to you about it.
Relationships: Pearl/Reader
Kudos: 23





	Late Night Sorrows

**Author's Note:**

> I don't do fanfics much anymore, but this one was super self indulgent. Writing these is always nice. 
> 
> Reader is gender neutral!

She never understood you. She never understood why you were so... strange. The things you did, said. The way you acted when someone gave you a compliment. It struck Pearl as odd, but she never questioned it; why would she? Although, looking back now, she should have questioned it. There were other things, too, that she noticed. The way your eyes got duller each day. The strange, nagging feeling that you were looking a bit thinner. The way you had less energy and couldn't keep up like before.

And yet, none of it bothered her. Until she started noticing your tired eyes. 

She never understood the concept of sleep. She partook in it a few times with you, and Steven previously, but she didn't see the appeal in laying motionless in one spot for hours. But she knew it was important to humans, and she often chided both you and Steven for not getting enough sleep. Initially, she thought it was due to you staying up late reading, or drawing, or even playing video games with Steven.

It wasn't, though, she quickly caught on. She started watching you closer. You no longer smiled like before; it was forced, like you were sitting through a bad movie. It began to gnaw at her; why weren't you happy? She began to fear that you were unhappy with her, that you'd leave her, like Rose did before. She began to worry that you'd up and leave Beach City without so much as a goodbye; but those fears were put to rest pretty quickly when she listened to you. It was obvious in your voice that you still loved her. She could easily pick out the loving tone in your voice, it was so hard to miss.

Then why were you always so tired and unhappy?

-

You stared out at the ocean, the salty breeze cooling your slightly heated skin. It felt nice, and refreshing, and you couldn't help but taking in a deep breath. The sand was still warm from the sun, which had long sunk below the horizon to make room for the moon and stars. The water was calm, and peaceful, and the distant sound of gulls crying made for a nice background noise.

Your chest began to tighten, and you felt the familiar grasp of darkness take hold. Your smile faltered; it was always like this. You'd find something that made you even a little bit happy, and that darkness would come and sweep it away.

You wanted so badly for it to go away, but it never truly left; it always lingered in the back of your mind, like a bad memory. You bit your tongue, but couldn't stop the tears from spilling over your cheeks. It wasn't easy, by any means, but you had managed to survive this long. Surely you could keep holding on.... right?

You were so tired of fighting it. You wanted to curl up and disappear and never come back. It hurt no matter what you did. You felt yourself slipping deeper into the dark blanket, like a forgotten toy being swept under the bed. You swallowed, sobs caught in your throat. You took a deep, shaky breath, but that didn't stop anything. It was never going to go away, was it?

"[Y/N]?" Her soft voice rang out. Pearl carefully approached you; she didn't want to startle you, especially at a time like this. After she began to follow you out at night, she began to see what was going on with you. She slowly put the pieces together, and realized that you were suffering. She mentally slapped herself for not noticing sooner. 

You simply stared out at the water, unable to form any words. Pearl had grown use to this; when you become overwhelmed with emotions (be it positive or negative) you had a tendency to become non-verbal. It was something she found odd, but she never said anything. She sat down next to you in the sand, and almost immediately you leaned into her side. 

She wrapped an arm around you, staying silent for a few moments. Finally, you let the sobs loose, and began to cry; a deep, sorrowful rumble that could break even the iciest of hearts. Pearl remained silent, simply pulling you into her lap and hugging you close. You buried your face into her neck and clung to her, and cried until you could produce no more tears. Once you had been reduced to sniffles and whimpers, she spoke softly, gently.

"I'm here, [Y/N]. It's going to be okay."

"But what if it's not?" You choked, pulling away to look into her eyes, "What if I'm not okay? What if I get worse? What if, what if I..." You trailed off, feeling a new round of whimpers coming up from your throat. You buried your face into her chest, trying to suppress the awful thoughts.

Pearl was silent for a moment, trying to find the right words. When none came, she just hugged you again. The two of you were silent for a minute before you spoke up again.

"Pearl... I don't want to go down that path. I'm so scared, that it'll take over. I don't want to do this." You mumbled, clinging to her tightly. 

"Oh, [Y/N]. I wish I could take it away from you. I really do. You don't deserve to feel like this. I wish there was something I could say or do to make it better." She replied, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. It made a warm feeling bubble up in your chest, and you gave her a tired, but genuine, smile. 

"Pearl... you're literally the best." You said, causing her to let out a quiet laugh.

"I'm glad you think so. I'd do anything for you."


End file.
